It's You
by Miss Romance-Lover
Summary: Ziggy finally chooses Tegan.


**I'm not overly confident about this one but I've been wanting to write something for Tegan & Ziggy for a while, and seeing as Hollyoaks are taking forever to actually let them be together this is my attempt at how it could have happened. I'm also curious at how many more people out there like them as a pairing, so do let me know if you like them as much as I do.**

It's You

Tegan stared at the message Leela had sent her this morning and sighed. Ziggy and her sister would be home from their last minute holiday in just a matter of hours, and she didn't think she would be able to paint on a smile this time.

This was her first day off in a week and therefore the first full day she would be able to spend with Rose since getting her back, but now she couldn't stop thinking about Ziggy.

It wasn't as if she hadn't thought about him at all; but now that he was coming home, so was the torture of having to live under the same roof as the love of her life while he was married to her sister.

She had thought about moving out, but where on earth would she go?

A whimper from upstairs broke Tegan's thoughts, and she went to see to her daughter.

She decided to keep herself busy and took Rose to the park, forcing herself to put all thoughts of Ziggy to the back of her mind.

It worked reasonably well until they got home late in the afternoon, when she could no longer justify keeping Rose out and it was starting to get cold.

Leela was back, but Ziggy wasn't around. Before Tegan could even mention him, her sister told her that he'd gone to see his brothers.

"He still won't sleep with me, Teegs," Leela announced after that.

If hearing this pleased her even a little, Tegan boxed away that thought and concentrated on the much healthier decision she had recently made. This was that she really didn't want to know the intimate details of her sister's marriage to Ziggy. Not anymore.

When she made no comment, Leela frowned. "I was hoping for some advice?"

Tegan took a deep breath. "And look where that got me last time - I ended up covering for your lies. Look Lee, I've missed you and everything but as far as your relationship goes, I'm staying out of it from now on."

"Why are you being all weird?"

"What's wrong with me giving you some privacy in your marriage?" Tegan shot back, raising an eyebrow in challenge. She knew she was making a valid point, even though her true motive here was self-preservation.

Leela sighed. "Right, fine," she replied, giving up. "I'm off to see if Peri will talk to me, anyway."

Once she had gone, Tegan picked up Rose and sat down with her. As her little girl babbled away happily in her arms, she planted a kiss on her forehead. She should be happy with her lot now, she argued with herself. She had been lost without Rose and now that the mess with Tony and Diane had been tentatively resolved, life was starting to calm down.

If she didn't have another hospital appointment looming over her, and if she had never fallen for Ziggy, she would probably be content with being a mum, and with her blooming nursing career.

If, if, if.

If he had never told her he loved her, then she would never have let herself consider a future with him.

An hour went by and neither he nor Leela had come back, so she fed Rose and got her ready for bed before organising something for dinner. When it was almost ready, she heard a key in the lock outside.

"Someone's been making my specialty!" His naturally cheerful voice instantly made Tegan smile, even if she was sure Ziggy thought it was actually his wife in the kitchen. After all, she herself was in his bad books at the moment, wasn't she?

As he wandered into the kitchen she thought about what he'd just said, and looked over at the stove. She'd made meatballs. Even while trying to get on with life she was still unconsciously thinking of this man.

She turned her gaze to him and to her surprise, Ziggy was smiling at her. "Oh, hi you," he said softly, edging closer to her.

"Hi," was all she managed to say back.

"Is Rose asleep?" he asked quietly, indicating towards the stairs with his eyes. Tegan nodded.

"I'm glad she's back home where she belongs."

"Me too."

She watched as he went to take a look at the pasta in the oven, and then glanced at the meatballs. "Not bad," he said, grinning at her. "Not as good as mine, but not bad."

Tegan laughed. "If you say so."

For a little while they just stood there looking at each other, sharing yet another charged moment where no one needed to speak in order to know that the feelings between them were still very much alive.

"Zig?" She finally said, having to look away while she turned the stove off.

"Yeah?"

"I thought you weren't talking to me."

She went to sit at the kitchen table, not in the mood to serve up the food yet but Ziggy took over and started dishing out their dinner onto three plates.

"Yeah, I wasn't. Then I thought about it and I started to feel bad. I know you weren't trying to be cruel when you didn't tell me about the baby. Well, the baby that never existed. I mean if you were really being selfish then you'd have told me the truth straight away to spite Leela."

She found she couldn't look at him again. "I wanted to tell you at first, but she got into such a state about losing you that I realised how much she really loves you."

Ziggy put a plate each for them on the table before leaving one for Leela in the oven, then sat down opposite Tegan and waited for her to look him in the eye before he spoke again. "The problem is, I just don't love _her_ anymore. Nothing's changed for me Teegs, it's still you I want to be with."

She let out a shaky breath and stood up. "I can't have this conversation again."

"No, wait a minute," he reached out for her hand but she snatched it away. "Please. I mean it; I love _you_."

"And all that stuff you said before you left?"

Ziggy sighed. "I was just angry with you. You don't honestly think I could stop loving you just like that, do you?"

Tegan sat down again and made herself take small bites of the meal in front of her. "You said you were going away to try and fix your marriage."

"Yeah, and we both knew it was never going to work."

"I don't want to hear all that. You should be saying this to Leela. But you never do, and I don't think you ever will."

Ziggy tried to respond but she cut him off, loudly abandoning her cutlery on the plate. "I'm not hungry anymore. I'm going to bed." And she left him alone to an uneaten dinner, to the washing up and to his jumbled thoughts.

Tegan looked in on Rose, found her still fast asleep and closed the door again. Then she got to her own room and closed the door behind her, collapsing into bed. Walking away was for the best, she thought; at least for the moment.

She believed Ziggy when he said he wanted her – if he didn't then Leela would have been full of the joys when she'd seen her. Instead she willingly admitted that there'd been nothing between her and her husband in all the time they had been away.

But that didn't mean Ziggy was about to tell his wife the truth. Tegan had been this close to happiness before and every single time it was snatched away from her at the very last second.

It wasn't as though anyone would feel any sympathy for her, if she started blurting these feelings out to someone else. She hadn't confided in Celine about Ziggy for months, and everyone else around her would be disgusted with her for trying to steal her sister's husband. She wasn't proud of herself either, but Leela had still been with Cameron when Tegan first realised she loved Ziggy. If she had just been able to admit it back then instead of pushing him away, the mess she was in now could have been avoided.

She could just feel herself getting close to sleep when the slam of the front door made her jump.

"She's _still_ not talking to me," Leela said, sounding frustrated as ever over Peri.

Ziggy's reply was quieter but Tegan could just about hear him. "So where were you then? I've been home for an hour and you must have left well before that."

Leela laughed, but she didn't sound genuinely amused. "Oh, so _now_ my husband cares all of a sudden."

"Of course I care. Just because our marriage hasn't worked out doesn't mean I don't care about you anymore."

"When did we decide that we're over?"

"Come on Leela, we were over weeks ago. I should never have agreed to the holiday and I'm sorry for that."

There was a pause before Leela spoke again, and Tegan sat up to listen properly. "So you meant what you said when you tried to end it last time, then. You don't love me anymore?"

"No. I'm sorry, but the thing is…I'm in love with someone else. I've felt like that for months."

The rage in her sister's voice was unmistakable to Tegan even when she sounded relatively calm. "You've been having an affair?"

"No!"

"Oh really? Like you've not got previous for sleeping around?"

"Say what you like about my past mistakes, but I'm telling you the truth now, I have _not_ had an affair."

"Right, whatever. So who is she then?" This was white hot fury from Leela now, Tegan could hear it. When she found out that her little sister was the other woman, there was going to be murder.

For a minute she thought Ziggy wasn't going to say it, but then at last she heard her name.

"It's Tegan. I know this is going to hurt you but I can't keep it in anymore. I love her."

"You… _love_ Tegan. You love my sister?"

"Yeah."

"And she loves you too, does she?" She knows I do, Tegan said to herself at this. _Crush my arse,_ Leela will be thinking by now.

Ziggy said nothing.

"Where is she?"

"Not here," he covered. "No one was in when I got back."

About two minutes later the door opened and slammed shut once again. She assumed it was her sister that had left, but didn't dare go and investigate in case she was wrong.

Then she heard a cough, knew he was still downstairs and couldn't keep still any longer.

"That you, Teegs?" Ziggy asked as he heard her footsteps.

"Well it's not Rose escaping from her cot, is it?" was Tegan's soft reply as she reached his side and sat down.

"Thought you were asleep."

"Not much chance of sleeping through that. She's never going to forgive me."

He turned to look at her, shaking his head. "No, this is down to me. I should have told her the truth a long time ago."

"It's _not_ all you," Tegan insisted. "I had plenty of chances before you two got back together but I was too scared to tell you."

"What are you on about?"

"Remember when Rose was in hospital last year, and you cancelled that modelling job to be there with us? Leela said it was obvious there was something between us and she told me to go for it with you. She even said she was cool with it. Then when you got back with her she was good enough to check I was okay with it. Which I _so_ wasn't, but how could I say anything? I'd just turned you down because I was convinced I was going to die."

Her voice cracked at the end of her speech, and Ziggy sat with his head in his hands. "I should've known. I should've fought harder for you. I'm such an _idiot_."

Tegan let out a sudden chuckle, and he frowned. "What?"

"You always say that. _'I'm such an idiot! I'm such a div!'_ You don't think much of yourself but you don't realise that I couldn't have got through this horrible year without you. You've kept me laughing, Zig. And you've kept me strong."

Maybe it was the reminder that she had yet another cancer hurdle to cross next week that did it, but without warning her emotions got the better of her. Before she could try and speak again, Ziggy's arms were around her.

"Feeling the pressure to say something funny now," he said, his face buried in her hair. "But I can't think of anything to say except I love you."

"Love you too," reluctantly Tegan pulled away and wiped at her eyes. "But I don't think we should jump straight into this until I've spoken to Leela. And I want to get next week out of the way too."

"What's happening next week?"

"I've got to spend the day in hospital having scans and all sorts of tests to find out if I'm in remission…or if the cancer's come back."

Ziggy gently held her face in his hands, and she was reminded of that day at the garage when he'd tried to persuade her not to leave with Rose. _'And there's nothing that can make you stay?'_ he had asked her while cradling her face in his hands.

"Teegs...I'm coming with you. Even if it's just as your friend while we sort everything else out, alright?"

Tegan nodded, and he smiled at her. A full-on Ziggy special smile that did exactly what it always did; made her feel like everything was going to be okay.

And she was hopeful that this time, things actually might be.


End file.
